Friday, June 7, 2013

How The Hell Does Jim Carrey Do It?

Now let me just start off by saying: I LIKE Jim Carrey.  I think he's incredible both as a comedian and as an actor.  He was great in (almost) everything he's ever been in.

But let's be honest here, the guy's not very attractive.

Jim Carrey
What's bad is I think this is supposed to be a handsome picture.

So what I want to know is how the hell he ended up playing opposite so many incredibly good-looking people???

Think about it.  We have two of the women from Friends:

Jim Carrey Jennifer Aniston Bruce Almighty
Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) in Bruce Almighty...
Jim Carrey Courteney Cox Ace Ventura
...and Monica (Courteney Cox) in Ace Ventura.

There are Indie/Manic Pixie Dream Girls Zooey Deschanel and Kate Winslet:

Jim Carrey Zooey Deschanel Yes Man
Yes Man...
Jim Carrey Kate Winslet Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
...and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

There's Cameron Diaz:

Jim Carrey Cameron Diaz The Mask
The Mask

...and Laura Linney:

Jim Carrey Laura Linney The Truman Show
The Truman Show

...and Renée Zellweger:

Jim Carrey Renee Zellweger Me, Myself & Irene
Me, Myself & Irene

...and Téa Leoni:

Jim Carrey Tea Leoni Fun With Dick & Jane
Fun With Dick & Jane

...and even freaking EWAN MCGREGOR:

Jim Carrey Ewan McGregor I Love You Phillip Morris
I Love You, Phillip Morris

He manages to get not only several of the hottest women, but also one of the hottest MEN in Hollywood playing opposite him.

...Maybe there's something about him I'm not seeing?  Is he like Channing Tatum or Taylor Lautner--one of those guys that everyone seems to think is attractive (while I simply DO NOT GET IT)??

Taylor Lautner's gotta be the muscles, right?  Bitches love muscles.  But dude...LOOK AT THE BABY FACE.  It ruins the entire thing.  I just...I just don't get it.

The world may never know, but as he gets older it'll be interesting to see if he still lands the hot middle-aged women.  Like how Sean Connery still gets the ladies even though he's like freakin' 80 years old.

I also uncovered something in all my Jim Carrey research for this post that may be of interest to my readers: I didn't know this, but apparently he went out with actress, model and crazy-person Jenny McCarthy, whom you may know as the person who is trying to keep you from vaccinating your children because contrary to EVERY SCIENTIST AND DOCTOR EVER she is convinced it gives them autism.

Jenny McCarthy, crazy person
Oh yeah, I'd take her medical advice over my doctor's any day of the week.

I can only assume he uncovered the crazy and ran as fast as he could.

Jenny McCarthy, crazy person
But of course in true Jim Carrey form...she's totally hot.


  1. Haha. They say women are attracted to guys who are funny? He is actually pretty hilarious. I think there was even a study recently that proved that Australian women are more likely to go to bed with a guy who makes them laugh. I'm assuming that's the same around the world!

  2. Australia is also pretty strongly a female majority, from what I've heard, and the women are desperate.

    That's the story the sailors pass around between them anyway--Australia is the best place to go to port, because there are flocks of women just waiting for you and your glorious, sex-starved sailor penis.

    I know I certainly have a weakness for the funny guys...and the sweet, bookish, gentle ones. Those kinds of men make you feel safe. Y'know? Maybe that's all it is. Maybe Jim Carrey is the super-safe and funny guy.


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