Good God, I'm Moving.

I'm moving 4,000 miles across the country.  In a week.

And my car isn't even running yet.

My room is a mess of boxes, bags of old clothes, laundry to be put away, and empty food containers just strewn around.  I still haven't gone through all of my things, and I don't even want to think about the stuff I have stored in a friend's attic (whose house is selling in June).  My back is too weak to move half of my belongings, and being ruthless with things that were my grandma's or were mine when I was a kid or whatever is REALLY hard...I'm a stupidly sentimental person.

On top of having 100 things to do and only a week to do them in, everyone in the world wants to see me before I go.  Which is amazing and wonderful and sweet...and impossible.  I have a lot of friends.  Someone is going to be disappointed.  And that, you guys, sucks rocks.


I propose a plan:

1. Everyone who wants to see me before I go should just come over and help me pack/lift boxes.

2. Everyone should get Skype.

3. Everyone should save up to come visit me.

4. Everyone should come take some of this fancy stationery I'm getting rid of so that they can write me pretty letters.

5. Everyone should give me some money so I can fix my car before I go.  Because wouldn't it be sad if I exploded, you guys?

6. I think I need hugs too.  Lots and lots of hugs, maybe even kisses.  Everyone should do those things.

7. Someone (if not everyone) should figure out how to make vegan brownies, cupcakes, and cookies.  And then mail lots of them to me.

8. Someone should also store my little doll crib from when I was a kid for me, as well as a box of my old baby clothes.  So that I at least have something to pass on to my children.

9. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, should make sure they're friends with me on Facebook, have my cell number, and know my email and Skype addresses before I go.

10. As usual, everyone should follow my blog.


The end.

(more later)

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So I Guess I'll Be The Hippie In Town...

So...England was fantastic.  But it will take me a million years to tell you all those stories, so give me some time.  The England posts are coming, I promise.

Meantime...I have an announcement.  I'm moving.

Across the country.

That's right folks, little Sam from Oregon is moving down south, to good old Charleston, SC.  I'd have told y'all sooner, but I wanted to be sure first...and now I've officially given notice at work and I've taken a room in Summerville.  Pretty crazy, right?  I'm really excited.

I am also, however, fucking terrified.  I mean scared absolutely shitless...I've had this nasty stomach-ache that keeps coming back for the last few weeks, I'm so nervous.


Things I'm nervous about:

-Charlestonians will think I'm a gigantic hippie.  And I've heard they don't like hippies there.  In fact...I've heard some rather nasty things that people thereabouts would enjoy doing to hippies, including things involving name-calling, shunning, and guns.

-I'm entirely un-religious, another unpopular opinion there.

 Does kinda worshiping this guy count as religion?

-I'm reasonably free with my sexuality, I swear like a sailor, and I think like a man.  Also I'm a feminist.  And a liberal.  And pro-choice.  And in full support of the LGBT community and all their rights, including marriage.  Again....unpopular.

 There might possibly be other things that factor into my lack of popularity as well.

-I'm a vegan, and I have a feeling all I'm going to be able to eat when I'm out are side salads, and maybe fried green tomatoes.

-My best friend is a man, and a sailor to boot.  Aaaaaand all his friends are male sailors.  Which is who I'm going to be hanging out with.  So I won't just look like a hippie, I'll look like a hippie who moonlights as a navy whore.

What...you don't recognize me?

-How the hell am I going to make friends?

-I'm not super worried about it, but good god, what if I can't find a job?

-I'm going to miss Portland like it was my right arm.  Dead serious.

-Probably most of all, I'm going to miss my friends and family like crazy.  More than I can fully describe to you guys.  Especially the friends that I mostly have an in-person relationship with, like people who suck at communicating electronically or over the phone. 


All that to say, however...


Things I'm excited about:

-Charleston, despite having a corncob shortage due to so many people having them stuck up their asses, has this thing in the air that is so laid-back and lazy...it's amazing.  Portland actually seems to have a little tension in the atmosphere, and I'm excited to live in a place where the very air relaxes me.

-The history, man...the HISTORY.

-It's so close to everything!  It won't cost me an $800 plane ticket to get to New York, or to Chicago, or to Boston.  It'll be a day's worth of driving.  I'll get to actually SEE my country, learn my roots.  One of the best teachers I ever had told us that before we go out and explore the world, we should know our roots, and that stuck with me.  So here I go!

Do YOU know your roots?

-My best friend in the whole world, James, is there, and I haven't gotten to live near him since we were like...sophomores in high school.  We'll be able to do best-friendy things like going to movies together, and being each other's wingmen, and shit like that.  Skype is an invaluable asset, but I'm kind of sick of seeing an electronic facsimile of his face while we're talking.

-Cheaper.

-More jobs.

-More hotels and bed & breakfasts.



I kind of doubt I'll stay for long.  I mean James is only there for another year and a half or so anyway, and the point is to have a change and an adventure, not to find a place to settle.  I don't know if after I'll move elsewhere or if I'll come back to Portland...but I think it's highly likely I'll be back here eventually.  God help me, I adore this city.

Any advice anyone has about moving cross-country would, of course, be greatly appreciated.  Feel free to email me if you don't want to post a comment.

More soon, including the story of how Josh didn't quite set off a bomb scare at Heathrow Airport.

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